I haven't post any of my useless random thoughts in this journal for a while now.
Well this is one of the reason why;
My lovely but hard-to-live-with Mother, suddenly suffered from stomach infection, she had been eating out of control regardless of her long-term fight with diabetic and high blood pressure ever since before I was born.
Due to her infection she had to be hospitalized for I was hoping not too long (yes, she's no longer hospitalize, and already back to her regular daily activity), me and one of my older sister and her husband were in charge for controlling and kept her company in the hospital, while my other older sister who recently just got married had to go back to her school for she is finishing her doctorate degree.
I have a very terrible experience inside the hospital; my family drama (who the fuck don't have any drama in their family?!), and the exact same smell of over-cleanliness of every fuckin hospital in the world.
I can handle my family drama for eternity because I have the power to just do not give a damn (and no, I dont see my self as a bad person).
But I will never ever have the power to overcome the horrifying surrealistic ambiance of a hospital.
I was never able to established any comfort, or any feelings that aren't creepy and absurd with all medical institutions every time I have to be there for any reasons, well except pharmacy of course (why? well because I like medical prescription drugs, that is one good reason for me to survive in a pharmacy).
Hospital everywhere are filled with too many weird things and surreal feelings;
The smell of anti-bacteria, the heavenly white atmosphere, the nurses protective mask, all the spun and pale facial expressions of every patients that are constantly waiting for the next medication, the cold empty medical beds that might still have dead souls sleeping comfortably on top of it, the overflowing needles from a mini-sized for heroin users to a gigantic needle that maybe were created originally for elephant, that empty and big spacious elevator that could fit a master king size bed, the over-protective security that are really unnecessary because there is really-really nothing to steal in a hospital unless the capitalism make dead bodies suddenly are more precious than oil.
Don't worry, I'll try to post something more useful next time.
fuck your culture